Alt sex toy review: the belt
There’s such a range of delicious insertable, wankable and spankable things in the world that ‘kid in a sweet shop’ doesn’t quite come close to the feeling of browsing one of the many sex toy sites. Unfortunately, the excitement of selecting your new implement, and the joy of unwrapping the discreet packaging to find something shiny to play with often pales into insignificance with the feeling that you’ve just spent £50 on something you might only use once.
Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t make it less sexy, but in these austere times I want to shine a light on the cheap, easily-kinkable objects that will have your partner – but not your bank manager – pleading for mercy.
That’s why a while ago, I started writing reviews on alternative sex toys – the things you can find around your house and use in a sexy way, that’ll give you a similar filthy thrill for next to no money. I’ve already reviewed stilettos for DirtyLittleWhispers and ethernet cable (no, really) for CaraSutra, so next up: the humble belt.
Belts are the best alternative sex toy
Spanking is the first thing that comes to mind, and to my mind the belt is the ultimate in hot whacking implements: smooth, thick, and makes a delightful ‘thwack’ sound. It can be used gently to warm someone’s arse up, or solidly to give them a tingling thrill of pain. What’s more, canvas belts (as opposed to the traditional leather) can be wielded pretty hard – with a guy really putting his back into it – before I’ll be writhing in anguished agony.
But that’s not the only thing belts can be used for. Here are my two alternative – and I think even hotter – uses:
Belts make a fantastic wrist tie, for two reasons. Firstly, they are thick and strong, so they don’t tend to pinch or dig into you in the same way as narrower rope. If you love the feel of rope against your skin, I’d recommend a canvas belt. They have slide adjusters (as opposed to notches) so you can get them exactly the right length – just loose enough for safety but just tight enough that your partner can feel their rising pulse beating against the fabric.
Secondly, they’re quick and simple. I love being tied up, particularly by a skilled and angry Dom. “Stay still,” he says, as he lashes me into just the right position, and I melt with desire and longing. But sometimes you don’t want to stay still. Sometimes you want to be moulded into shape and tied there swiftly, ready for the quick and desperate fuck that your partner can’t wait to have. In this case, belts are perfect: no messing about with knots, no “wait, wait, hold on a second” while they pay out lengths of coiled rope and arrange it artfully around your quivering limbs. Just round, through the buckle, a quick adjustment and you’re trussed up ready for the evening.
This is specifically and exclusively not a restraint: it’s a corset-like restriction of your body in a way that makes you focus strongly on your own desire. Next time you get hard, or wet, or aroused in a place where you have a bit of privacy, pause for a while and tie a belt around your waist. Go on – as tight as you can. Do it up. Ignore what you look like, focus on how you feel.
Lust often takes us deep in the stomach – a kick of desire that churns and pulses in the pit of your gut. Pushing out against something, having the feeling of being contained rather than restrained, can heighten arousal. I find this constrained feeling is also incredibly hot around the chest. A guy I was fond of used to fasten a belt tight around my tits, then pull on it to increase the restriction when he fucked me from behind – a move that made my cunt twitch every time he did it. Constriction is the reason I can’t wear a corset without getting aroused. It’s the reason I like guys holding me tightly around the stomach from behind. It’s the reason there’s a belt next to my bed.
If this were a real sex toy review I’d have to give the belt marks out of five. Is it hot? Is it usable? Does it provide value for money? But in my mind the belt is so horny that I’ve developed a Pavlovian arousal response if I hear the sound of a guy sliding his belt off – the swishing noise as it whips through the loops of his trousers – and it’s hard to quantify something that provokes such a wave of desire. Marks out of five? I give it ten.
Girl on the Net writes at www.girlonthenet.com, and you can get in touch with her via Twitter or Facebook. Her book, my Not-So-Shameful Sex Secrets, is available from all good digital bookshops.